Relationship Building Skills:
Can They Weather the Challenges
of a Long-Distance Connection?
See also: Managing Conflict in Relationships
Nowadays, the information field suggests emphasizing the need for healthy relationships. Influencers share examples of their relationship-building skills with the audience and open the door to their lives, speaking about their path, mistakes, and wins. Some keep having relationships over huge distances.
Indeed, more than 14 million couples in the U.S. have been able to keep up with each other without being close. Thus, it makes us wonder what stands behind the success of long-distance relationships. Is it pure love or something else? Here, we come to what it takes: relationship building skills. What are they, and can they weather all the challenges of long-distance connection?
We consider the essence of relationship-building skills, healthy relationships, and their opposite toxic habits and approaches.
What Are Relationship Building Skills?
First things first, the relationship building definition stands for the mastered set of practices, approaches, and actions that aim to get us and be in relationships with other people. As with any skill, the set occurs with practice. Thus, although our heritage inclinations matter, those do not determine who we are.
Another point to highlight is that it is not about our temperament or personality type. Drop thinking that if one is an introvert, one loses. Extraverted social behavior does not bring any bonuses at this point. All people have strong and weak sides that bring them to the point they are. For example, a person is a pure cheer but focuses on themselves and forgets to ask, “How are you?” One is a silent bookworm, but everyone gets warmth near them when communicating.
Thus, we come to the conclusion we can master relationship-building skills. Let’s check out the constitutional elements, what they are, what they bring to communication, and what their loss means. Beforehand, getting all of the traits we discuss below is not obligatory to succeed in relationships. It is about balance inside you and between partners in their relationship. Thus, we recommend focusing on your skills (praise you for that) and the ones you want to improve.
What Are the Skills for Building a Healthy Relationship?
What are healthy relationships? It is worth mentioning that it applies to all types of relationships: romantic, friendly, working, etc., to a reasonable extent. It is the type of communication that can be characterized by mutual benefits and doing according to the agreement. Our manager at work expects us to perform some activities, while we expect the SMART tasks and salary to be completed within a predefined time. When one of us starts neglecting our duties - it is the road to toxicity.
When building a couple with a partner, we want the most significant degree of acceptance in the relationship. Both people want to be themselves, give unspoken permission to express their emotions, share their states, and be transparent. We expect our agreement to work, and we contribute. Thus, it is possible to grow trust, love, and devotion in those relations.
Let's speak about all the skills that allow healthy relationships to occur. They work for couples who live in the same house and for those who are in long-distance relationships. Their purpose is to let another person know you are the right person who hears and values them.
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Active Listening
Active listening is the beginning of everything. It is about becoming all ears when talking to another person, expressing interest in the revealed story, and asking extra questions. The point is that the feeling of presence here and now is hard to pretend. Thus, active listening tells another person that a partner is there. It works for all couples, especially those who are far away. From this point of view, video calls give us more options to see another person's state, not only hear them.
The necessity of active listening does not mean we must practice it no matter what. People can be tired, exhausted, or drawn to their tasks and moods. Listening does not bring the expected result if one pretends or is irritated. Alternatively, it is better to be frank, apologize, and say you need time to retrieve and return when you have done it.
It sounds intuitive, but most people are inclined to do one of the polar things: do not talk or communicate superficially without diving into the topic. Both may hurt the partner, so find the best way to be truly there.
Empathy
Empathy is our natural ability to feel for other people through the ability to communicate and build relationships with others. We feel their happiness and sadness, disappointment and joy. Thus, we feel what we should say in various situations gets triggered to clarify some questions to understand another person. There are people who cannot gain it, and there are physical conditions behind it, but they can still learn how to behave in society as well.
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Communication in Long-Distance Relationships
People know about another person's feelings, empathy, and support because they communicate. You may pick different styles: chat, video, conversations. Some people dislike sharing, while others overshare - it does not matter. What is pivotal is communication. Maintaining long-term relationships, we learn to communicate in a healthy manner, express our true selves, expect to be heard, and do our best to understand another person. It works in long-distance relationships, although it is impossible to hug the beloved person. The senses we share are the most important.
Technology as a Tool
New technologies give people the possibility to see each other and communicate. There is room for intimacy and meaningful talk. Thus, everyone can pick what they like the most, talk about it with a partner, and arrange a virtual date. The most important thing is to feel the closeness despite the distance; that is what it takes to become good at building relationships.
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Ability to Set Boundaries and Respect Each Other
In love and following the ability to build relationships, people want to be close to each other, share hobbies, spend time, learn about each other's lives, and become a part of this life. It is a powerful thing that is hard to resist. However, there may be saturation and stepping boundaries of another person. There must be space for respect and privacy of another person’s rules. Besides, learning the rules means knowing a person closer and being more conscious.
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Building and Maintaining Trust
Different research studies show that humans fall in love eight times in a lifetime. That they can like other people. What does this information bring to us? It is one of relationship building examples we use here to highlight the significance of trust and transparency. First, the finding stresses that having feelings is a normal reaction of human beings, and it hardly depends on us. Consequently, being in long-term relationships vs. going for a new flame is a choice. And second, long-distance relationships can handle it since it is normal.
Some couples learn to speak openly. Thus, they know they can share what they like about another person, for example, if another man looks tremendous or if some girl has beautiful eyes. It is about transparency. Trust begins in the spot when partners know it is about their significant others having eyes and feelings but does not plan to cheat on them. Keeping silent on the topics and lack of trust bring unnecessary tension and a sense of prohibited things. It is never good in close relationships and for well-being in general.
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Compromising
There are different ways people react to conflict that might occur. Some want to get their benefit and activate the reaction “Hit,” while others stay still, damaged by the stress. Some people prefer to run from the issue or pretend it is invisible and does not exist. Conflict resolution, thus, becomes an inevitable skill.
No matter the topic and our natural inclinations, the desire to build relationships makes us look for compromises. It starts with a dialogue, looking at the topic from your partner’s point of view and focusing on resolution. The latter takes understanding and patience. In the long term perspective, it gives us good relationships where you accept and are accepted.
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Emotional Support from Afar
Being supportive is a skill that begins with a conversation. As different human beings, we have different ideas of what support is. Sometimes, it depends on our background, habits, and how others treat us. One may tell a story for emotional support, while another expects to hear your opinion on the best way to act. Thus, the best way to give support is to ask, “How do you want me to help you now? Should I seek a solution with you or listen to you and share emotions?”
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Navigating Challenges as a Team
First is sharing troubles, wins, and psychological states with a partner. Second, it seeks ways to simplify or improve our actions to achieve a result. It may be about having a common trip, plans for a tangible future, or the same direction. There are many strategies for couples to face challenges together and strengthen their connection.
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Maintaining Intimacy from a Distance
It is possible to find creative ways to maintain intimacy. It keeps the romantic spark alive in long-distance relationships. Since intimacy begins with communication and imagination, it should have no pressure on a person. It can be an unexpected message with a compliment, a planned romantic dinner in a cafe on a video call, or an evening with soft music and lights. Online stores are full of satisfying devices to help couples create such moments at a distance.
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Building a Future Together
The way partners see the future defines everything. They may be having fun together, seeing each other in person every month, and it may be enough, while others dream of living together, building a house, and having kids. Discuss future plans and goals together. It is essential to sustain long-distance relationships by speaking out about what each of you does in these relationships. It will save time to find what you truly want.
Overcoming Distance with Skills
Even people who spend every day together may not have closeness without proper communication and lack of skills. They may have prejudices in their minds that prevent them from being transparent and finding common denominators on a topic.
Many things can go wrong when a couple lives at a distance. Thus, the fact everyone behaves the best way with each other simplifies everything. The relationship-building skills become the bridge between the emotional and physical gaps in long-distance connections. It becomes easier to talk about complicated topics, make plans for the future, give support, and express inner desires. Being capable of understanding what is relationship building and practicing the skills brings the expected results: everyone feels trust and closeness.
Why Is It Important to Work on Relationship Skills and Their Benefits?
Relationship skills are essential because humans are social beings. Centuries ago, becoming an exile meant an evitable death. Nowadays, no one stays in a desert without access to food and other necessary things, but the unconscious prediction of danger is still there when our team denies us.
To support ourselves and become a respected person in society, we learn how to behave, get our professional tasks done, and should also devote time to interpersonal relationships. We read books and studies on psychology. We explore ourselves and what we personally want to get and give. Thus, we learn the tricks of active listening, being empathetic, and supportive.
Professional psychologists suggest many practices shared on the internet and described in various books. Thus, everyone can hear about the basic principles, find what resonates with their souls, and practice becoming a better and happier version of themselves. And indeed, contribute to relations with others.
Conclusion
Long-distance relationships are a huge challenge. Love brings joy and delightful feelings. However, all the barriers to overcome are exhausting. Thus, people seek support outside - communicating with people, reading books, and internally - by crafting relation-building skills. The latter requires work and consciousness. Although for success, one should not have 100 percent, constant attention, and practice still brings the result step by step. Keep going, or give it a fresh start if you have had any hesitations. We wish you luck and happiness in your relationships!
About the Author
I'm Linda Bunnell, a freelance writer and relationship expert. I love helping people understand relationships better. Through my writing, I share tips and advice to make relationships healthier and happier for everyone.