How to Manage Employee Divorce

The Effects of Divorce on Employees

It will come as no surprise that divorce is a direct cause of stress. The upheaval of leaving a relationship, when coupled with legal concerns and financial separation, can all add up and take their toll on divorcees.

According to a study by the Health and Safety Executive, stress accounts for around 45% of all working days lost due to ill health. Furthermore, between 2015 and 2016 it was recorded that around 11.7 million working days were lost to stress in the UK.

Divorce is a stressful time, combining personal, financial and legal problems into one bundle. There are few people who can juggle all these concerns and maintain a constant work rate. It’s not uncommon for those going through a divorce to experience a mixed range of emotions including sadness, anger and resentment.

At the best of times a divorce can be problematic, but if the divorce proceedings involve child access arrangements or selling a joint house, the stress can be amplified greatly.

Research indicates that divorce is dealt with similarly to grief as individuals experience a range of emotions which can affect us all differently in the workplace and at home. It is knowing how an individual deals with this stress that will set your organisation and HR department apart.

The emotional stages of divorce may present themselves in your workplace. These stages can be defined loosely as:

Denial - Many will find it initially hard to reconcile the fact that they are no longer with a partner who was so prominent in their lives.
Shock - Upon realizing that the divorce is not going to go away, many will veer between the emotions of depression and anger.
Roller-coaster - During the roller-coaster phase divorcees can find themselves sinking further into depression as the reality of the situation sets in.
Bargaining - A phase that attempts to return to a reduced form of denial, denial that the relationship isn't over and the belief that the relationship can be ‘saved’ by unrealistic compromises.
Letting go - Realizing that the relationship cannot be reconciled and considering the prospect of moving on from the relationship.
Acceptance - Accepting that the marriage is over and focusing on the future.

Needless to say, separation and divorce is not only detrimental to one's personal life but also to one’s professional life.

Even the most resilient employees can become less productive in their day-to-day work. It’s not uncommon to see work relationships strained when co-workers find the emotionality of recent employees to be difficult to work with. No two people will go through the process of divorce in the same way.

Here are some of the common issues that may arise in employee’s performance as a result of divorce:

New and unusual mistakes being made
Frustration (which may often be directed towards co-workers)
Lower output
Inability to focus on work
Lower self confidence

Employee's Expectations

Between an employer and employee, there is an implicit ‘Psychological contract’ that is entered into.

As part of this ‘contract’, the two agree on a shared level of trust, reliability and compassion.

An employee who has devoted themselves to a company for many years may expect that devotion to be rewarded in the form of support when going through a difficult time such as a divorce. In some cases, the employer will throw the employee a lifeline and offer a form of compassionate leave, even if there is no such leave referenced in any contractual agreement, as a way to recognise years of reliable work.

How can employers help?

Whilst leave for bereavements is much more commonly granted, many employers do not offer the same flexibility to those suffering from the fallout of a divorce.

One survey revealed that only 10% of employees believed that their employer adequately supported them through a separation or divorce. Rather than continuing this trend, a good way to address the issue would be to initiate a HR policy to cover support and leave offered to those going through a divorce.

In some cases, organizations arrange legal support for their employees in an attempt to ease their financial concerns. Other solutions could be to offer more flexible working arrangements or hours so as to catch employees when they are able to operate most effectively. Another more hands-on option is to offer counselling or therapy to approach the divorce from a healthy perspective.

For smaller companies with less personnel and more budget constraints, an attentive line manager can provide less formal support.

The Skills You Need Guide to Stress and Stress Management